7.19.2012

On Wrestling, Being Broken and Faithfulness.

This is a LONG post. 960 words to be exact. I thought about breaking it up into two parts. I just couldn't do it. There do appear to be two stories here, but like puzzle pieces  you don't know how they fit together until they just do. 

I slumped behind my desk peering out into my classroom illuminated by the single lamp. 
What was I going to do?
 I was locked into a fight-to-the-death battle inside myself. My goals for my first year of teaching were to 1. Survive and 2. Stay Faithful. Faithful to a plan for my life that I did not understand all the time especially on those late Sunday nights I spent on pitch dark country roads going home.  

I felt like the Lord was calling me to spend another year in my small town. I felt a loyalty to my principal, to my first group of kids, to my amazing co-workers. I prayed, thought, talked and planned, and still as the last few weeks of May approached I felt as if another year in Kemp was in the plan. 

Spoiler Alert: This is my life... so yeah that didn't happen... obviously you are reading a blog named Sweetly COMPLICATED. 

Two weeks before the end of school our principal called us in for an ominous meeting. Ominous really does live up to its connotation. The words felt like they were spewing out of his mouth in slow motion. I could almost see them creeping my way with scary eyes and fang like teeth coming to wreck havoc on my life. He was leaving, another job, not going be there next year. 

I simultaneously felt my stomach drop and a weight lifted off my shoulders.  
Can that even happen? Apparently. 
After the meeting I spent the better part of an hour just begrudgingly flipping from one Houston area ISD website to another.  Wrestling, this time, with the APPLY button. I decided to only submit applications to ISD's that already had my applications on file (can you tell I wasn't really in the mood for another major life change?). AND then it happened..
I saw and applied for a job that I had a connection too.  
I sent a text to my connection. 
An hour later I got a call for an interview (please keep in mind it was like 9 o'clock on a Wednesday night).
30 mins later I was packing a bag to go on an interview. 

At this point I had NO clue what God was doing, but one thing I did know I REALLY wanted this job. 

I went on the job interview and just felt like I clicked. 
It felt right, honestly I just kinda knew that this is where I was suposed to be. 

In celebration of a great interview I rewarded myself with a trip to target. 

A week later I found out I didn't get the job. 

I drowned my sorrows in a trip to Target. 

Really its great for both occasions. 

I submitted some more applications. 
I drove to half a dozen school with my best smile, outfit and resume in hand. 

NOTHIN... NADA... ZIP... ZERO. 

In the state of Texas your teaching contract starts 45 days before the first day of school. 

July 9th.... 42 days before the start of school... 3 days left to find a job. 

July 9th- 4:30pm: I get a call for an interview at a school in Houston. 
July 9th- 5:00: I was in the car on my way to Houston excited to have another shot at a job! 

I woke up the morning of the interview and something just didn't feel right. I can't explain it something was just off. On top of taking a wrong turn and being a teeny bit late (being late is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves) I had had a terrible night of sleep, but I knew this was my last chance of a job in Houston for the 12-13 school year. 

I did the interview and left. 
I sat in the parking lot of Starbucks in the pouring rain completely void of all energy and emotion. I was tired and I was DONE. I was at the point of complete brokeness ( but alas our faithful God always seems to work when we hit rock bottom)

I called Reese. He told me to come to his office he was going to take me out to lunch. 
I was picking at my food really not wanting to answer his questions about my interview when I saw my phone light up with a voicemail from Houston number. I excused my self from the table to go listen to it. To my shock and surprise it was not the school I had just interviewed for but the FIRST job from back in May.

The first thought that went through my mind was "CRAP! I have the same outfit on that I interviewed in". Fortunately that didn't matter because right there in from on the Cajun Inn I was offered an 8th grade ELA position. I frantically waved for Reese to come outside. I was still on the phone, but some how though the wild pantomiming I was doing he figured out what was happening. I got off the phone squealed and proceded to JUMP up and down in the air like an idiot. I could have cared less at that sweet sweet moment. 

I tell you this story not as a girl who is excited about a new adventure (which I am) or a girl who finally get to end a long distance relationship (thank you JESUS), but as a girl who believes in the faithfulness of her GOD. Who believes that in ALL things God has a purpose and a plan and a vison that is beyond anything we know and/or can comprehend. As a girl who will look back at this time in her life and be reminded that being faithful to God's plan no matter how hard can bring about amazing things. 

Psalms 26:2-3
Test me, Lord, and try me,
    examine my heart and my mind; 
for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love 
    and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.


If you got all the way through that get up and get your self a treat! You deserve it ;) 
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21 comments:

Jessica @ Lovely Little Things said...

Reading this gives me GOOSEBUMPS!
Is it weird that I'm jumping up and down right now?!
:)

God is SO INCREDIBLE...
as are you, my dear!

I just love this whole post and I'm so excited for you!

LOVE YOU!
xo

Maggie said...

I love this post. It brought a little bit of tears to my eyes.

I tend to get overly emotional at times.

Praise God for His plans and for His hand in our lives. I really needed to read this for myself this morning, so thank you for sharing your story.

Congratulations on this blessing! So happy for you :)

p.s. just realized I don't think I've commented on your posts before, but I enjoy your blog!

Katie said...

that is so awesome meg! thank you for sharing! God is so good, but sometimes it is hard to see that he is in control when things aren't working out like we think they should. and on a side note - this summer has been a rough one for me and I can't even count the amount of times I have been to target - seriously it is like therapy. : )

Whitney said...

I'm so glad to hear that you're excited about your move and that everything worked out!! I can't wait to have you here. I need a dinner date pronto!!

Leanne @ Simply Beautiful said...

I have to agree with Jess...reading this gave me goosebumps all over. How amazing it is to see God's faithfulness come through in that way! It has been so fun following your story and I can't wait to see your story continue in Houston this year!

Courtney said...

So happy for you! It's so hard to have faith when nothing seems to be going right but God always pulls through for us =)

Victoria said...

Amazing! So happyfor you and all the great changes this job will bring about for you. Godisdefinitely up to greater things than we usually realize!

Lindsay @ Trial By Sapphire said...

This brings my heart such joy, Meg. Congratulations again, and welcome back (officially and for real) to Houston!

Phil and Darby Hawley said...

oh my goodness!!! You weren't kidding earlier this week when you said you "identify"! Praise the Lord for his provisions, and for your patience and faithfulness...and Target for a place to vent :-) Can't wait to meet you girl!

Amy G. said...

CONGRATS!!! That is so incredibly exciting! Yay for finding a job in Houston :) and one that you'll love. Looks like that Target trip paid off after all! P.S. I'm obsessed with Target and actually went today during lunch because I was bored. Great decision for me. Not so great for my bank account ;)

Meg Cady said...

You are just my favorite.
No its not weird because your all fit and junk.
WHEN something exciting happens for you (ahem you know what I am talking about) I will probably eat a cookie in your honor.

Yes God is pretty stinking incredible!
I still think about the Abraham example (and will always think about that) when I look back on this crazy time in life!

LOVE YOU MOREEEE!
XO

Meg Cady said...

Seriously PTL.
I am so glad it could bring a bit of encouragement to you!
A blessing indeed!

Meg Cady said...

Seriously Dr.'s should start writing prescriptions to the place so we can have a medical excuse to submit to our husbands/boyfriends when they roll their eyes and ask "whats the damage this time!?"

It is so very hard to remember that his plan is better than anything we could imagine! Stay faithful Katie!

Meg Cady said...

YES PLEASE! Love me some dinner dates that involve real people! :)

Meg Cady said...

Thanks so much ma'am!
I know to see his faithfulness come full circle is such an amazing thing!
I cant wait to see what is instore next also!

Meg Cady said...

For REAL! He always does! Thank Miss Courtney!

Meg Cady said...

I told you!!! Reading your story reminded me how important not only to write down what the Lord is doing to remember not only ourselves but to encourage others (aka you encouraged me to tell my story of provision!)

Seriously I cant wait to meet you either!

XO

Amanda said...

I love this! And I needed t read just this right now. I needed to be reminded of Gods faithfulness. So thank you :) I'm excited for you, for your adventure!! Happy Weekending :) XO

Kathleen said...

This makes my heart very happy! :)

Congrats again!

A Preppy State of Mind said...

Oh what a great story! I'm so happy for you! This truly is inspiring. Thank you SO much for sharing, and especially for sharing that verse!

-Rachel @ A Preppy State of Mind

Michelle said...

Meg! This is awesome!! I'm so glad you shared this story. I know all about those ups and downs and desperately trying to trust God. I'm so excited for you, and I love watching how God works things out!