I would wear this:
I wouldn't wear ANY of this:
I would sit so close to Damien Lewis and Claire Danes I would be compared to Amy Poehler sitting on George Clooney lap.
I would ask Mandy Patinkin from Homeland to record a message on my voice mail starting with "Carry" , because its my favorite thing he says/does.
I would follow Taylor Swift around quoting Tina Fey over and over again. I would also follow Jennifer Lawrence around trying to convince her to be my best friend, if that didn't work I would then follow Zooey around.
I would hug Leonardo DiCaprio because in the third grade a substitute art teacher gave me a ridiculously lifelike (at least to a 9 year old) sketch of him during all the Titanic hype. I slept with it under my pillow praying to God my mom would let me see the movie.
(She didn't, I was 9, great choice mom)
I would ask Jennifer Gardner and Ben Afleck if they needed a babysitter because despite what Suri's Burn Book says I think their kids are ADORABLE.
I would sing Tina Fey and Amy Poehler "Wind Beneath my Wings" because they truly are my heros, or well until Jessica Chastain finds another Terrorist then she's right back on top.
And this would be my acceptance speech:
Wow, I can't believe I am standing here (thats how your supposed to start right?) I would like to thank my cousin, who talked through the entirely of "Pleasantville" explaining every camera angle, every nuance in a line, a gesture, a prop placement. I would like to thank Mrs. Hawkins who directed me in my first Church play when I was in the 6th grade, and really did break me out of my awkward shell. I would like to thank Homeland for reminding me that it is to both laugh at a "drama" and curse and throw things at the TV and be genuinely glad when good triumphs evil. Thank you to my family, because if I don't thank you people with think I am extremely self centered and I am a Hollywood actor, so why would any one think I am self centered. But seriously, thank you to my family.
And finally I would thank all the small people because that is who you thank in an acceptance speech in front of the mirror when you are 9.
Que music rushing me off stage.